Who TF Did I Marry? Let's Find Out!
As you may know, everyone's latest obsession is a 50-part series about an unsuspecting woman who alleges that she married a cheat and a liar. And by liar, she says that the man L-I-E-S.
I don't want to give away spoilers here, so I'm going to keep this an overview of a few points of interest relating to private investigators (PIs). I'll let you discover the series yourself. My wife (the Catfish Queen) recommended it to me and, after a few episodes, I was hooked. You should definitely check it out.
Whirlwind Romance - Perfect for a Background Check!
The creator, known as reesamteesa on TikTok, met a man on dating sites and invited him to move in to her home within a month. I do not say this with judgment - there were reasons that reesamteesa articulates in the series. And, to be fair, I believe in true love. Sometimes, when you know, you know.
Unfortunately, when you move that fast, you don't really know. It's one thing if you have known one another for your entire lives, become romantically involved, and then move quickly. It's quite another to meet and invite a virtual stranger into your home within a short four-week period. Again, no judgment here. But as I get older, I hope that I get a little wiser. And that's the whole point of this article - to provide guidance to folks when their hormones haven't taken their brains hostage.
Psychology Today lists 25 things to discuss before moving in together. It's a great article, and I won't go through the entire list. Instead, the article groups the discussion items into three main categories:
- Relationship Negotations - includes the purposes of living together, sex, culture, and religion among other topics.
- Household Rules - includes chores, finances, transportation, pets and guests.
- Communication - includes communication (fighting, or "fussing" as we call it in our house) rules, social media, routines, goals, and exit strategies.
May I add one? How about a background check? I know that it's super romantic. There are varying levels of background checks. I have capitalized the ones that I would want my child to run in the event of quick love, especially if the partner seems "too good to be true."
- EDUCATION VERIFICATION
- Drug screening
- EMPLOYMENT VERIFICATION
- Criminal background checks
- CRIMINAL HISTORY CHECK
- Social media check
- CREDIT BACKGROUND CHECK
- IDENTITY VERIFICATION
- CREDENTIAL VERIFICATION
- Reference check
- Credit checks
- Driving record
- MVR reports
- SEXUAL OFFENDER REGISTRY CHECK
- SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER TRACE (this one came into play with reesamteesa's story!)
- DISQUALIFYING OFFENSES
- International
- Security clearance screenings
Something Feels Off - What Can You Do?
First, do not ignore your feelings. If something feels amiss, it may be! Don't spend time worrying. Find the facts.
So take action. You don't have to engage a PI. You can do a lot of investigation yourself. In the discussed series, reesamteesa got access to her partner's phone, checked on his educational history, and ran two (2) background checks. She also did some other legwork, such as searching publicly available information such as court records. Good on ya, reesamteesa!
Of course, a PI will always be able to help. We can perform surveillance to see if the person is where they say that they are (work or play) and who they are with. In most circumstances, we can confirm or deny specific facts that you need to know. We can also help with background checks, of course. Finally, we can dig into the person's history to make sure that, for example, a divorce occurred on the basis that the person says it did. The PI's job is to provide you with facts; you make decisions based on the facts.
Knowing is Always Better than the Alternative
Some people may not want to know the truth. My mother, for example, is largely this way. She just wants to know if anything is going to interfere with her life.
In reesamteesa's case, she stated that if she had known certain facts, she would not have had a second date with the man she ended up marrying. Not knowing did not end well with her.
Even if you end up staying together, it's always better to be aware of the problems you are facing. It just is.
We Can Help
If you need help, 888 is here. Don't hesitate to reach out to us. Frankly, most of the calls that we get turn into simple advice (no fee) about things that the caller can do to help themselves. And that's great for us. We want to be trusted advisors. We just want to help.
Other Articles about the Series
The series is enthralling. Here are a few articles that you can read up about it. Enjoy!
This article originally appeared on LinkedIn.
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